If you’ve been visiting this blog over the last few weeks, you’ll see I’ve been wrestling with some issues.
Things in my life have been getting overwhelming and I had been focusing too much on what I consider “busy work” as a way to cope.
Normally in this situation, I do a reset and things get back on track. However, not this time. Because technically, this time was different in many ways.
A Revelation
My partner and I had a long heart-to-heart over the last few days, mainly because he is wonderful at knowing how I’m feeling and can see things I’m often blind to.
Like the fact that I’ve not taken a real break in over 2 years. For all the breaks I’ve taken, many of them still included some kind of work. Many days I work 10-12 hours a day. Always doing something.
Now I used to at least have some weekends free, but that kinda stopped and I have less and less free time during the weekends. Some of which is due to what’s been happening.
My partner also pointed out for the last 5 months, we’ve been stretched emotionally-thin with everything that’s been going on. So, on top of my normal work, there has been all this going on…
For those who don’t know:
Throughout the last few months of 2018, my cat who I had for 17 years was diagnosed with severe stomach cancer and following surgery needed a lot of care before sadly needing to be put to sleep just before Christmas.
Throughout January, I was in and out of the emergency room and when I was out, I was on pretty strong painkillers that left me fuzzy-headed and nauseated.
February we moved house. So from late 2018 to February, we had been going through the stressful process of buying a house, meeting with solicitors, sorting home buyers reports, visiting the mortgage broker… then in Feb we had to move in and that took a lot of time.
Finally March… throughout all the above, we also had a family member who was diagnosed as terminal. In the last two months, they have deteriorated and we don’t have much time.
The Rise of Depression
It’s been a while since I suffered depression but it appears my depression has reared its head and taken up residence for a while.
This has been the driving factor behind me not looking after myself like I’m supposed to and why much of my creativity has faded away. Always such an insidious effect of depression.
What this all means
At my partner’s request, and because I know I need it, I’ve decided to take a real break. By this, I mean a full, month-long hiatus from (almost) all things online and many offline too.
My Life Audit revealed that there are some pieces, I really don’t want back on the board and others I’m still on the fence about. So I need some breathing space and time to get well and to make some decisions.
Now, because I like to be neat, this hiatus won’t start until May.
What about this blog?
I won’t be posting on Mondays or Fridays throughout May. However, if I can get my current May guest posters to give me their articles early, I am hoping to get them scheduled so there will still be posts appearing.
If you contact me via this blog through the Resource Page, the Guest Page of my Contacts Page, there will be a delay in replies as I will be checking my emails only a few times a week (if that).
Any comments I receive in May will be replied to in June.
What about #TheMerryWriter?
I’ve discussed my Twitter Hashtag game with my co-host, Rachel Poli. We actually had a plan for May but that will have to be pushed back to June. Instead, we will be running a series of questions each week in May.
I will still have them on my feed so my followers can still play, but I won’t be responding to anyone. However, Rachel will still be active in May and then we’ll be back with more meaty questions in June.
What about the Newsletter?
No change.
There will still be a Newsletter at the end of this month (announcing my 3 giveaway winners) and there will be one at the end of May too.
What about Facebook & Instagram?
I may schedule a few things to post throughout the month on Facebook, but Instagram will most likely fall quiet during that time. I will not be responding to comments during the hiatus.
What about your writing?
This break will hopefully let my creativity bubble up again. At the moment, my depression has squeezed a lot of the joy I have for my writing as well as many other fun hobbies.
What about the Monthly Goals?
My monthly goals have always worked well for me when I’m balanced. But right now, they are on hold while I give myself and those around me the time and energy needed.
Thank you
I want to say a big thank you to all the support I’ve received from people whether it’s on this blog, on social media or those of you who reached out in email.
Some people were aware of just what has been happening others have not, and yet I received a wonderful outpour of care and concern from people who know things have been getting difficult.
This post was to shed a little more light on things and help me to explain my upcoming hiatus.
I have always been in awe at the support I get from the blogging and online community and it is truly appreciated.
For the rest of April will continue as normal, then I will be bidding you a short farewell throughout May 🙂
Happy writing
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A break is a good idea, I think, and best of luck to you! My 19-year-old cat is slowly fading away, as is my mother who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few months ago, which has now spread to her liver, and is accelerating. I’ve learned that it’s okay to stop and take breaks, although I haven’t yet, but I soon will for a little while. It’s all part of the writer’s journey.
Thank you for your kind words.
Oh I am so sorry to hear about your cat and your poor mother. There are no words to describe how painful this is, I hope she is at least been given something to ease her pain. I wish you the strength to get through these trying times and offer my blessings to both your mother and your cat.
I hope you find time for yourself, to find some time to relax as the stress you must be under is enormous. Brightest blessings x
Thank you, Ari. I’m discovering that I have a lot of support and help around me, which eases my mind quite a bit.
I’ve been worried about you for a while now. I’ve had this feeling that things were not where they should be. Just one of those feelings I get once I get to know someone.
We all need a break from time to time. I know I do and sometimes it takes someone in our lives to shut things down. Step away and focus on other things for a while and when you come back it’s okay to change things up.
Remember: Change is good and healthy.
Thanks Bryan. I’m sorry I made you worry. I’m glad my partner encouraged me to take this break. Strangely throughout the weeks up to actually taking the break, just THINKING about it has made me feel more relaxed. I think this will do me a world of good. I’ll miss you all but I know I’ll come back better for it.
Take care, my friend.
You’re making the right decision. Burn out is no fun, I hope you feel back to your old self soon.
Lots of love and hugs. Xx
Thanks Lorraine. I know I need this, it’s just going to be interesting when I actually DO it. I’m not used to standing still. So getting up tomorrow WITHOUT checking the internet and my phone is going to be weird. Though I’m going to fill the month with books, movies, nature walks, card games and naps 🙂 bright blessings, my friend *hugs*
Your partner sounds wonderful! I hope you really do rest while you are having a break! If you need longer away just postpone your come back; health is so much more important than blogging. Best of luck with all you do, Ari and take care of yourself! xx
Thanks Clare. Oh yes, he is! 😀 And I do make sure to tell him that, A LOT! I will definitely rest, my partner will be “checking in” to make sure of it and since today is the last day before I take the rest… has already texted me like 6 times to REMIND me it’s the last day lol. I will miss you all while I’m away but I’m hoping to come back with new ideas, and more energy 🙂
Have a wonderful rest xx
Thank you, Clare
I knew you were going through quite a bit, but this post helped me see it clearer. I’m sorry you have all that on your shoulders, but it seems like you have a great partner to share it with.
Enjoy your break. Heal.
And I’ll see you on the flip side.
Thanks 🙂 Oh yes, my partner is awesome and I tell him so as often as I can 🙂 I am looking forward to this break, plan on reading more which I’ve been unable to do, watching awesome shows and movies, visiting nature and letting my creativity fill back up. Take care 🙂
Good luck getting better during your reset month. Come back stronger!
Thank you Tomas. I plan to 🙂
Hi Ari, I hope you enjoy the break and come back when you can much rejuvenated. Your so so much work for writers you’re truly a great person. 😀
Aww thanks Simon, I really appreciate that. 😀 I definitely hope to come back all refreshed.
I look forward to it 🙂
I think it sounds like a break is very much needed. I hope you come back from it feeling refreshed, and knowing which pieces you want on your chess board.
Thanks Victoria. Yes, I think this break will do me the world of good and should hopefully give me my creativity back as well as some time. I will miss you all but I know this is the right thing to do.
Take good care of yourself Ari – you’ve had a rough time of it the last six months. Use that time-out to tote along your camera and explore that park you said is near where you live now. You’ll feel like a new person.
Thanks Linda. Oh yes, I very much intend to get out of the house and into nature. My little point and click may be broken, but I guess I’ll just be pulling out my big Pentax instead! 😀 I will try and get some cool shots to show for when I’m back. But just the idea of spending hours in nature makes me feel relaxed.
Yes, it will be a great break for you Ari and this time of year, the freshness of new life, whether it’s plants, trees leafing out and new offspring with the birds, waterfowl especially. By mid-May we see the geese and ducks with their offspring – you will smile and pat yourself on the back for taking this respite and putting the Pentax to good use. Enjoy!
I’ll miss you, but I’ll look forward to your return because I’m sure you’ll be better than ever – at least more rested! Social media takes a LOT out of me (at least Twitter causes me considerable consternation!), so I totally see where you’re coming from.
Thanks so much 🙂 Yes Social media is so draining! Even with the use of a scheduler that I use that takes away a lot of the excessive time I could spend on there, it still just wears you down. I’ll miss you all too. It will feel weird not checking my blog every day and working on posts (though I’m sure I’ll be jotting down ideas throughout the month if this hiatus brushes away the cobwebs and gives me back some of my creativity.) Take care
Enjoy your break, Ari. You deserve it.
Thanks so much, Kate. I intend to have a very enjoyable break in May 😀
Rest properly in the real world, in some nice peaceful nature with just your close ones.
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I tend to just take a long relaxing break, read some good books, watch some enjoyable movies, take my camera and visit with nature, spend time away from screens. Might even get to enjoy my garden if the rain eases up 🙂
So very pleased to hear that you are taking a break Ari – You give so much to your writing and sometimes there is a need to take a little time out to gather your strength. Depression is something I am very familiar with and I know that it can be debilitating – take this well deserved break, you will come back the stronger for it. Take care of yourself
Thank you kindly, Alison. I appreciate your kind words. Admitting I need this break was pretty hard, but I know it’s the right thing. I’m so sorry you too have dealt with depression, it is such a crippling condition at times. Blessings to you, and all who have had to suffer it.
I’m truly sorry for the challenges you’re facing, Ari. And I applaud you for finding the time and strength to blog in the middle of all this! It takes great courage to do that.
It’s okay to take a break when life starts to get in the way. I’ll definitely miss your presence.
I hope you feel better soon, Ari. Take care and stay strong. Love and blessings. ❤
Thank you kindly, Obinna. It has definitely been a rough year, but I am hopeful that this break will do me a lot of good and that the latter half of this year will be so much better.
Now all I have to do is actually TRY and relax lol. It’s not my strong suit but my loving partner has informed me he will be checking in to make sure I’m actually doing it 😀
I’ll miss you all and look forward to coming back to the blogging world refreshed and full of energy 🙂 Bright blessings, my friend
I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you kindly, Andrew 🙂
You’re welcome.
Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
Thanks for the reblog 🙂
Considering what you have been going through, I’m surprised you are still here! You need to stop now, not in May. The world won’t stop turning, and we will all be here when you have recovered. Take care of yourself, Ari…
lol My partner did try and convince me that I should stop in April, but it’s like slamming on the brakes of a freight train…takes a while to stop 😀 So I needed to tie up loose ends, make everything neat and organised so I don’t come back to more stress and now I’m ready to focus on my health and wellbeing. 🙂 Thanks for your kind words and support.
You are welcome, Ari… take care of yourself!
😊
Take care of yourself, Ari! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a step back and taking a break. I can’t wait to see what this refreshment will do for your creativity. I’m excited for you!
Thank you, Sara. I need to hear that sometimes. I know breaks are important but I get very antsy when I have to take them, hence why they end up being for a weekend tops. But this time, I really need a long break. I’ve been so ill and overwhelmed I need to give myself some TLC.
Me too, I can’t wait to see what this break does to my creativity and energy. 🙂
Nothing wrong with taking a break. LIfe can get overwhelming at times. I was surprised that you did so much in the midst of a move, one of the 5 top stressors. Take care of yourself!! xo
Thank you, Darlene. Yes overwhelmed is right. I have a bad habit though of not always realising just how overwhelmed I am getting until my loving partner puts on his stern face and tells me to take it easy. I think this break will be the best thing and I hope I come back all refreshed and sparkly 😀
Bless you, m’dear Ari!
Yes – definitely – Take your much deserved break. 😊🌼🌸
To be honest, I’ve been considering something similar although not sure what I’d take a break from. I’m not doing much anyway. 😁
Much love, prayers that this will do what’s hoped, and many hugs!
Pearl
Thank you, Pearl. Sometimes, it’s just nice to take that step away even if you aren’t doing anything specific. Just a “no computer” day or week. A break to do something different. To go on more walks, or to visit family or to try that hobby we’ve all been putting off due to other commitments.
These breaks can be good for blowing out the cobwebs we didn’t even know we had. 🙂 Thank you so much for your kind words and support, I hope you do take a break yourself. *hugs*
Hubby has three days in a row off soon and we’re thinking of taking a day to go . . . somewhere. 😄
Maybe a couple of day trips. I need to look around for somewhere we’ve not gone before.
Hugs!