This is the 3rd and final article in my 42 Lessons From 42 Years. In case you missed them, read part 1, and part 2. Hope you found these enjoyable to read 🙂

Find Your Systems

What works for one person may not work for another. Even if someone else’s system seems better. If we as people are different, it may not work for us. We react differently due to many reasons. So work out what is best for you. For example, as someone who is an “out of sight, out of mind” person, this meant I needed to use clear containers for holding things, on shelves so I could always see what I have as well as needing labels on shelves and drawers, etc. Do I like it? Nope, but it works.

Work The Problem

We all vent sometimes, we need to get all the stress and frustration out before it chews up our insides. But be aware of doing that too much. I once spent almost a year just venting almost every day after work because of how shit the company I worked for was.  Venting is useful but can be destructive. Sometimes you need to vent and SOMETIMES you need to identify the problem (especially if it keeps coming up) and then work it until you have a solution.

Life, generally, for most people, should not be so awful that you have to complain all the time.  If there are no lights* in your life, then something needs to change. It doesn’t have to be as basic as “hate your job, quit!” because maybe you can’t. Maybe there needs to be more planning involved. So plan, scheme, and find a workable solution (even if it’s not 100% what you want right now, if it moves you towards that or even makes a lateral move, that can still be beneficial)

*let’s add a caveat: if you are suffering from a severe mental health condition, chronic pain etc then this is not always something you have control over. But it also doesn’t mean there is always nothing that can be done – it all depends on individual cases.

Stretch!

You will be SHOCKED how quickly your body starts to lose (basic) flexibility as you get older.  We take our youth for grants (that’s pretty normal, honestly). But start NOW and make sure you do a simple stretching routine – whether that is a basic yoga routine, a simple stretching set or something. Take 5 mins a day and just do some simple stretches for your back, shoulders and legs. I am trying to do: hamstring stretch, calf stretch, quad stretch, inner thigh stretch and 3 shoulder stretches. Takes me 5-10 mins and it has been a game changer. Also, here is an awesome 15min stretch video that I love.

Keep (Some) Special Things

It can be hard for me to keep keepsakes. I am always dealing with my hoarding tendancies and while I’ve managed to get to a healthy place, it is so easy to fall back into that compulsion.

We spend a lot of time reminding ourselves not to hoard (for want of a better word), to let go! But sometimes we can lose track of sentimental items and what they mean to us. Walk the line between keeping mementos and sentimental items and keeping everything that reminds you of, say, your grandmother!

I’ve lost family members and it can be so instinctive to keep everything. I know that happened when my sister died. Eventually, we all started to acknowledge what pieces reminded us of her the most and let other items go. If you do struggle with this, take a photo of the items you are letting go.  

Know When It’s Time To Let Go

This can be for items (as mentioned above) but also hobbies, jobs, friendships etc.  Sometimes, you need to step back and think “this isn’t serving me” or “I’ve outgrown this.”  I’ve had to let friendships go because we as people have changed too much that we aren’t the same people so the friendship isn’t the same. Rather than trying to “force it”, it was time to let go. There are things I’ve “always wanted to try” but after a lot of thinking, I realised I don’t actually care to do some of them now. I was holding onto them because they were just always on my list.

Don’t Let The “Busy” Overshadow Everything

Say yes to things, chat to your friends, reply to texts and emails (yes, I’m bad at this but I’m trying) schedule your time when you can. Make sure to include you time, and time with friends and family. Schedule your date nights or friend days.  Think about what you’ve been doing in your life.  Is all that the memories you want to look back on?

Try Your Best (emphasis on Try)!

You will do a lot in your life, big things and small things. We often put too much pressure on ourselves to succeed or do really well (this can tie into comparing to people!) If you try something and don’t manage to do it, or don’t complete it or struggle – that’s okay.

Stop beating yourself up because you put yourself against an impossible standard (which we all seem to do!) Learn your abilities and limits, you can increase those abilities and shrink those limits sometimes but do it at your own speed.

When I was little I measured my worth against my siblings, my sister was “the smart one” my brother was the “active one” and I was the “creative one” that seemed to often come across as a bad thing. I wasn’t as smart as my sister, I didn’t have the memory recall she did and things came difficult to me. Took me a long time to learn that trying was enough (I didn’t learn this from teachers and other adults who should have understood that everyone works at their own level!)

Don’t Let People Make You Feel Bad For Your Hobbies

I hate that so many hobbies are almost considered “odd” if you do them into your 40s. It’s like you get a pass in your 20s, side-eyed into your 30s and scorned in your 40s. (Not by everyone, but there are plenty of people out there just judgery-dooing on things). If I want to create miniature dinosaurs out of clay and create my own boardgame, that doesn’t make me weird, Brenda!

Take Pictures Of Yourself

I’m not big into selfies and I don’t really mean selfies with this point. but if you are spending time with friends, out with your partner, visiting family, or just doing something with yourself – take pictures. Especially ones with other people. did you join a class that is coming to an end? Take a group photo of the class. You will really want to have those visual memories someday. Don’t assume your memory will be enough to remind you 20 years later.

I regret not taking a photo of the pottery group I met up with every Thursday evening for a few years. I can’t even remember some of their names now. Build a visual memory collection. But make sure to curate it, don’t just keep 10,000s of photos.

My partner and I also love to make sure we take a couple’s photo every month. I want to see the progression as we get older and have those to look back on 🙂

Things Take Time

A lot of things take time. This can be getting healthy, dealing with mental health issues, learning a new skill… stop rushing through things and giving them up as “not working” when you haven’t invested enough time. I sell online and I see this all the time in the forums from new sellers who come on in droves complaining that they’ve had their online shop for a week, a month, 3 months and haven’t had any sales.  So many things take time, it’s the long game.  Learn what does take time, slow down and enjoy the journey.

Keep Learning

You’re never to old to learn something new. With the internet packed to the gills with tutorials, videos, articles – many for free – there is plenty of time to learn something new. Want to start growing vegetables? Want to try charcoal drawing? Want to learn to knit? Try something new every year. Just pick one thing, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as learning how to fold a great paper aeroplane. 🙂

One For Cat Owners: Develop Ninja-level Skills

If your cats are anything like mine, they will stop suddenly in front of you, lie or stand lengthways across the stairs (preferrably while you are ascending/descending with an armful of laundry etc), park themselves in every doorway or just cut into your lane while your walking (thank you for that, Walter!) In order not to fall, break something and/or die! Train your ninja skills so that you can quickly pivot away, sidestep or catch yourself before falling down the stairs. Also, NINJA SKILLS!!

Watch Out For Regrets

If you have ever seen those videos were someone interviews a senior person, and asks them about their regrets. Almost all the regrets these people shared where about things they didn’t do. Didn’t spend enough time with their kids. Didn’t travel enough. Didn’t make enough time for themselves. Didn’t pursue that job they wanted. Keep an eye on regrets that might be creeping in now. No matter the age, if there are regrets, try to face them, try to see if there is something you could do to turn that regret around.

Find The Humour

In almost any situation, there is usually something that can make it humourous. When I was in school, if I did sometimes embarrassing like fall over (did that a lot) I used to get so hhumiliated and it could bring on a panic attcak. Over the uears (despite my anxiety) I have, sometimes, found ways to grasp the funny first. Like when I slipped on the ice and landed on my back and then took 20mins to get up – I just leaned into the funny (thats why it took 20mins to get up… when you are laughing so hard.)

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Thanks to everyone who read through this as well as Part 1 and Part 2. Please feel free to share some of your own life wisdom in the comments below.

Happy writing & stay safe

I write articles on writing, marketing, blogging, organising, social media, books and some random stuff.  I also create free printable resources.  If you find my content helpful and entertaining, consider supporting me on ko-fi (where you will also find extra content I post).  All donations go to keeping my website running and helping me move towards publishing my novels.