Writers, How To Deal With Critics

Every writer has critics and opinion minions.  In fact, you could just be thinking about becoming a writer and someone will have a comment about your decision.

This post is going to cover the  Level 1 Critics, these are people who just have to say something about what you’re doing.

In a world where everything is up for review from your meal to the new stapler you just bought, it’s not surprising that everyone has an opinion and wants to express it.

Whether you ask for it or not. This is where the Level 1 Critic lives.  They are the ones who have found out you’re a writer.  You’ve not asked them to read anything but they are rushing ahead with their opinion.

Writers, how to deal with critics. The type of critics you might meet as writers


The Why Guy/Girl

Often a friend or family member.  They are ready with a crooked frown and the “why do you want to be a writer?” question.

It’s funny but I’ve not seen people ask the Why question to those wanting to be doctors or teachers… but apparently being a writer is so “out there” it deserves to be queried with disdain.

It’s not as if we have proclaimed we want to be Martian Gardeners or unicorn wranglers.

But despite the fact that many people make a living out of being a writer or even support themselves part-time, it will just be beyond them.

To these people Writer is like Rock Star – it’s impossible to achieve.  It’s as if we have to be born with the writer-gene to manage it.

How to cope with this Critic

However, you want.  You can smile politely and ask them why they wanted to be (insert their job).  I’m guessing almost all the answers can be used the same for a writer.

For example, if they say “I wanted to help people” – writers do that by connecting with readers, showing scenarios that people can relate to, giving people somewhere to escape to.

“I wanted a career” – writing can be a career, look at George RR Martin or the late Terry Pratchett. “

I wanted a steady job” – in truth no job is steady, some of the biggest companies have fallen, people are made redundant all the time…so really, what is “steady”?

My preferred method is to state that I want a career doing something I love…and I love writing.


The Idea Generator

This person is what I consider the passive critic.  They often start by giving you “ideas” for your stories.  Usually before they even know what sort of things you write.

While they may have the best intentions, to a writer this can be a little insulting.  As if we don’t have ideas of our own.  If you want to be a writer it’s almost always because you’ve got a story inside you to tell.

In the end, if these ideas are that good, they should be writing their own story.  Anyone can be a writer if they have a story and the strength of will and determination to tell it.

But these people don’t want to write it, they want YOU to write it.  Or worse they think you won’t have good stories so are plugging you theirs.  They are also the ones that know how to “improve” your story.

These people are mostly harmless but pretty fucking irritating.

How to deal with this critic

Stop that shit instantly.  As soon as they start with their ideas, speak out immediately before they have even finished and calmly but firmly state you already have your story to write.

If they keep pushing, just tell them to write it themselves – that’s usually when the excuses will come out.  But in the end, if they want their crap written, they need to write it themselves.


The “It’s a Phase” Critic

This is almost always family members and/or teachers.

It’s the people who think your “love of writing” is just a phase that will pass when you get older.

What they mean is they HOPE it passes because they want you to get a REAL job and be NORMAL.

There are a few versions of this critic.  There are the ones who just outright don’t like you “messing about” and think you should get your head out of the clouds and work hard on a real job.

These are usually overbearing parents with no creative flare at all and really like to tout the benefits of being an accountant or patent attorney.

These people can get pretty crappy as you get older.  Especially when they realise this “phase” you’re going through shows no sign of ending.

They will continually push you away from more creative endeavours and downplay anything you say to people about your writing.  They often treat your writing as an embarrassment.

The softer version is the ones that think it’s nice you have a hobby, but don’t think it’ll be anything more.

They usually haven’t read anything you’ve written so have no idea of your talent or skill but want you to be more secure in your future.

How to deal with this critic

Because it’s often a parent, you just have to thicken your skin and not let that get to you. You can still go to college and uni and even get a job, none of that has to stop you from writing.

It’s not an ‘either/or’ option.  Also, understand that parents always want “what’s best” but that comes from measuring your life against theirs.

Parents often want their children to do better than them, which often means a better job, more money, fancy car and all that jazz. 

The idea of you pursuing a writing career is almost horrifying to them.  This is because it’s a risk and they don’t like risks, not for their children’s future.

You can’t live for other people’s approval or to do what they want.  Yes, you will probably have to get a job because even published writers had to support themselves while they wrote. 

But that does not mean those jobs are going to be what you do forever – that depends on you.


The Genre Hater

This is someone who “doesn’t care much for your genre”.  Genre is a loose term anyway because many books these days can’t be so easily categorised.  But this person will probably sneer at your chosen “genre”.

Those who fall into this group, I have personally found that they usually hate fantasy. They don’t like that lack of realism and can often see this as cop-out writing.  After all, it’s just “making shit up, right?” *facepalm*

These people usually haven’t read any fantasy or whatever genre they claim to hate – but maybe they have seen movies with fantasy elements and didn’t like them.  So, apparently, that makes them great at stating your chosen genre is rubbish.

Now let’s remember, everyone is allowed an opinion – I am not into romance or horror stories and so I don’t read them.  However, I have no interest in going up to a writer who does write romance or horror and telling them that their genre is crap.  It isn’t.  The world needs all types of writers.

This critic will feel the need to share with you all the reasons why your chosen genre is rubbish and why you should write something else.

They will sometimes state that for the big bucks you need to write ‘X’ genre.  As if you are writing purely with financial gains in mind. (If you ARE, then wow are you in for a shock!)

Another version of this is the Classic Lover – this is the person who only reads the well known, big name books such as War & Peace, Crime & Punishment, Wuthering Heights, Foust, Utopia etc.

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with these books or any of the classics.  But some people only read these and compare everything to them.

There is some great literature from years past, there is some great literature now.  But this idiot just likes to drivel on about the classics as if anything written in the last few decades is not worth reading.

How to deal with this critic

Don’t bother, this person isn’t worth your time. 


The Time Keeper

This person can sometimes be a supportive friend or family member, I’m adding them to the list because they can be pretty irksome.

They are always non-writers and so have no concept about how writing works or how long the process can be (especially if you are writing a multi-plot novel).

You may tell them you are writing a novel.  Two months later they will be asking if you’ve finished it.

Even when you explain the level of depth, the research, the plotting, the fact you are also working a full-time job, managing a house and running errands for your extended family this will still not be clear to them that it’s going to take some time!

Now, Time Keepers may just be really excited to read your story or they could be one of the people who after they realise it’s not going to be completed in a month, will start being snide about it.

The supportive ones deserve your patience.  Just explain that it will be a long process and that you’d rather not talk about it.

Then if you DO want to talk about it, you can start the conversation.  Because nothing gets irritating fast than “Have you finished it?” every time you see them!   As if you AREN’T going to tell when you’ve finished it!  They don’t need to keep pestering you.

How to cope with this critic

Be nice, tell them you appreciate their enthusiasm but that it’s going to take a while and to check back with you in X number of months/years.  Whatever you feel comfortable with.

If they’re the more dickish version, who tell you it should have been written by now, then just tell them to shove it and promptly ignore them.


The Comparer

This one is tricky.  As humans we see patterns and base our opinions on experiences, so sometimes you will get someone who compares your story (whether it’s the idea, the character or even the plot) to something else they know.

It could be to another book or a movie etc but they are going to make a point to state the comparison.

Now, this can be from something as basic as you’re writing fantasy fiction and it has dragons – suddenly your story is like A Song of Ice and Fire, or like Eragon or any other book that ever featured a dragon…EVER.

Or maybe you have a theme where your character is undertaking a quest – well then it’s obviously JUST like Lord of the Rings, right? (err nope.)

I remember writing one of my early sci-fi stories.  I actually let my dad read a chapter or two.

He got to a part were one of the characters got into a car – a flying car.  The car was lifted and manoeuvered using multi-directional boosters placed where the wheels would have been.

Immediately my dad mentioned it was “just like Blade Runner”.  To him, it then became my “blade runner” story.

I was probably about 11 and had never heard of Blade Runner.  But to have this one bit picked up on and then compared to something else was pretty disheartening.

When I eventually watched Blade Runner, I found the only part that was remotely like mine, was the flying car.  One tiny point had been blown up to define the story.

He hadn’t meant it in any negative way, but we creative folk can be sensitive about our work.  It also didn’t help that it was the first thing he mentioned – not the characters or plot or ideas but some little thing.  It was because he could relate it to something, and he did.

This is why you get people who compare your story to others – even just some small insignificant point will allow the Compare Guy to hone in.

How to deal with this critic

Often these people are not trying to be dicks.  However, there will be some who are, you can tell by their voice and the sneery way they compare your work to something else.

You don’t want these people around, if you can, ignore them.  Don’t spend time arguing with them.  If they can’t see beyond such a small similarity then they are not going to be swayed by clear arguments.

dealing with criticism, critics, hatersStand up for your writing.  It is not an easy goal to reach but neither is being a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon, but people do it.  Just like people become writers.  Only you can stop yourself from achieving it.


Happy writing

Signature & logo of Ari Meghlen

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